The Frigid Wars Within
by Theroofwatchers
Summary: Yao was a prisoner of war in Unit 731 for years. Now it was August 1945 (Japanese surrender in WWII was April 1945) and Ivan has salvaged Yao's body from the wreckage of the facilities under Kiku's shamefaced instruction. So we begin, with Ivan nursing Yao back to health. They head into a new war still reeling from the last, and this time, it's nothing like the wars of the past.
1. Recovery of Dignity

Another wave of pain came over Yao, and he let out a silent groan. He was mildly aware of how cold his damp body was under all of these blankets, but there was nothing he could do. At this point, Yao wasn't sure if he'd even recover from these simple flesh wounds. He didn't want to think of what else he'd have to deal with after recovery. Tonight was the first night in a while he could rest lying down.

"Do you want anything?" Ivan was at his side, in pain too from watching Yao suffer. "Water? Food? I can make some soup if you're up to eating." He'd seen more torture than the other nations combined, probably, but when he found Yao in that place, mutilated beyond recognition…

Yao shook his head though his throat was on fire. It wouldn't do to put anything in his stomach so soon. His insides couldn't have recovered from what they did just yet, not even if his country was now on the winning side of this war. He was just grateful for Ivan, who hid him and bathed him and bundled him up so that nobody else would see him in this pitiful state. How long had he been gone? Months? Years? Ivan had told him a little of how the war was progressing, but not enough. Had the others suffered his same fate under Kiku's care?

"My doctors will be here soon." Ivan sighed. "The twins will be here by morning and the North says they're bringing everyone else." That's all Yao wanted to hear, wasn't it?

Yao managed a little smile at that.

They waited in silence until Toris arrived with the doctors. Ivan stood to leave them to their work, but the brief look of panic on Yao's face convinced Ivan to sit back down. Toris stayed too, trying his hardest to hide his disgust at the corpse-like appearance of Yao's body when they removed the covers.

It was the next afternoon when Yao opened his eyes. He couldn't recall when he fell asleep, only that the pain faded when they stuck a needle into his arm. They had no trouble finding his vein at all; it was the only thing between his skin and his bones. Ivan was still there, holding his hand and slumped forward onto the bed. For a second Yao thought Ivan was dead, but soft snores reminded him otherwise. Yao closed his eyes again.

When he next woke, Ivan was gone. It was too dark to check if his numb body was still attached to his head. He had to use the restroom. Feebly, he struggled to an upright position on the bed. He would not lose the last shred of his dignity when he was already freed.

Yet he did. He slumped back and sobbed bitterly, praying that nobody would hear and come to see him like this. It hurt, too, to soil Ivan's sheets, adding insult to injury.

Ivan heard the light creaking of the bed as Yao tried to get up. Just about everyone waiting for Yao to wake heard when he began sobbing. They all rushed to Yao, but Ivan got there first.

"Stay here. He probably doesn't want you to see him." Ivan whispered to a family that barely restrained themselves from charging in.

"What gives you the right to-"

"He definitely doesn't want to see you." Ivan glared sharply down at Kiku, who looked as if he was about to cry. "And I don't either. Be glad I'm letting you stay in my home." With that, Ivan slipped into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Ivan.." Yao croaked, trying to sit up again. "Are they here already?" He'd heard the stampede of footsteps but not the soft exchange outside. It could still be anybody else waiting to see him, anyone at all. It could be a team of doctors or something, not his family… anything but that… please…

"They're here." Ivan flipped on the light and saw Yao flinch. "Sorry."

"Sorry." Yao squeezed his burning eyes shut. "I uh… had an accident."

It took a few seconds for Ivan to figure out what Yao meant. "It's fine, I kind of expected that to happen anyways."

Ivan grabbed a roll of bandages from the nightstand and removed the IV from Yao's arm. Yao would want a bath, probably, and it would buy him some time to compose himself. Ivan nodded to his own line of thought and scooped Yao up.

The door creaked open and Kiku's head popped in. "Is Yao ok-"

"Get out!" Yao screeched with a ferocity he didn't know he still had. A sharp pain ran through Yao's back as he yelled, making him shrink into himself. "Now…" The fire snuffed out just as quickly as it roared to life.

Kiku immediately retreated and closed the door. Ivan nearly dropped Yao in surprise. The doctors had just removed the tubes to sustain Yao yesterday, how could he be so energetic now? A glance down at Yao's tortured expression put an end to Ivan's frivolous musings. In silence, he held the shivering corpse to his body with one arm and changed the sheets with the other. The hushed chaos beyond the little room they were in ran together and acted as white noise. It drowned out the blizzard and the heavy thumps of wool and furs tossed about with fatigued haste. The dirtied sheets that Yao had been under had no warm imprints that suggested a living being had ever been between them.

Ivan set Yao back into bed gingerly. "Stay, I'll run a hot bath for you." As if Yao could get out of bed on his own.

"Because I stink?" Yao attempted, then forgot, to laugh.

"Yep." Ivan forgot to laugh as well. "Is the mob allowed in here?"

Silence, save for the hubbub beyond the door.

"Right…" Ivan braced himself, then exited the room.

The commotion halted instantly.. Ivan's gaze swept over the sea of eyes that snapped towards him. Like he'd been slapped in the face by the blizzard's whips of wind, his own eyes began to sting from a sudden urge to cry. He left for the bath without saying a word, too aware of his thumping heart.

Ivan had some time to himself as he ran Yao's bath. He squeezed his eyes shut as he worked, almost certain he'd burst spectacularly from the mounting pressure behind his eyelids. Immortals had feelings too, or at least, remnants of the emotions that should have died long ago.

Knock knock. Creak… "Vanya, are you sure Yao can handle being bathed now?" It was his observant little sister Natalya, walking in to prevent a flood. "And that's enough water for a bath, I think." She turned off the tap for him.

When Ivan's only response was a wet-sounding sniffle, she knelt down next to him. "Go to bed," she chided firmly, "They can handle the rest."

Ivan let himself be helped up and cleaned his face before Natalya walked him to his room. He let Natalya tuck him in, and let her slip under the sheets with him, and let her give him a little kiss on the forehead.

"Good night, big brother."

"G'night."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Ivan mumbled before he drifted off.


	2. Discomfort

Ivan woke to Natalya's soft breath on his chest. She held him like a lover, her petite arms struggling to draw him nearer and her cold fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. The revolutions had been tough on his little sister too. His people had seized control of her country, but Ivan had the decency to keep her in his uncrowded estate, out of harm's reach. He'd offered the same to the other nations under 'his' control, but they saw no point in coming to Russia yet.

Well, his elder sister Yekaterina would have loved to come, but she was tied up in the political turmoil of her government. Of course, it was her duty as Ukraine, but she would not have stayed to argue with petty men if it wasn't a matter of preserving her existence.

 _Yekaterina would be fine_ , Ivan told himself as he gently detangled his other sister from his person. Yao, however, had suffered through 3 years of ceaseless torture by those who knew full well that he could not die from any amount of abuse.

They tore apart Yao's body, searching for the bit of his soul that confined him to this world. They stripped him of all dignity as they worked, and when it became apparent that their mad science could not explain Yao's suffering, they proclaimed that they'd rather kill themselves than be humiliated like Yao.

Ivan felt his heart pounding again, this time with rage instead of shame. Immortality was a horrid thing. It meant that Yao could suffer a fate much worse than death and live to suffer it again. Still, it meant hope for better days. Even if all hope was lost, they could awaken one day to find themselves just fine.. It could take a miracle to lift them out of the ordeal, but they had all the time in the world to wait for one.

Ivan collected himself and set down the now-awake Natalya's arm. She had been staring at him with a puzzled expression for some time now, her arm growing tingly from being held upright. Her shockingly sharp gaze seemed to dig into him as much as her nails had. It was a bit unsettling, but Ivan ignored it.

"I'm checking on Yao." He huffed and vaulted out of bed.

Natalya was silent. Her brother's footsteps headed upstairs rather than down the hall to their broken friend, but she'd expected as much.

Ivan found the traitor Kiku sitting at the windowsill on the top floor, at the place Ivan had claimed as his sanctuary since the day this house began receiving guests. Kiku wore a frighteningly dull expression, but anyone with eyes could tell that he had been crying. He tried to hide it behind his hair, but his raw and tear-stained face stood out as glaringly as the painfully white snow outside.

Kiku paid no heed to the complaints of the old wood stairs, nor to the door's mournful creak, nor to the thunderous crack of the door as Ivan slammed it shut.

"Did you see what you did to him?!" Ivan bellowed, "They had him stapled on to the operating table!"

"I know," Kiku mumbled quietly, keeping his eyes trained on a tiny imperfection in the window. "I read the reports."

Ivan lowered his voice to a growl, trying to keep himself calm. "And you told us he was doing fine?" How could he keep calm? Kiku had sold out to 'research' the one person that had been there for him from the beginning, and for what? Approval from a new boss? Honor? If Kiku had any honor before this, it was wiped clean off his plate the moment he dragged Yao to that wretched facility.

"I didn't want to get everyone riled up." Kiku's voice was almost silent. "I was just following orders."

Orders. From another one of those power-hungry mortals that would be purged from this world in the next decade. He would rather wring out to dry the one who saved him and all of the other Asians under this roof from facing the world alone as an immortal.. "You…" Ivan could not find words to express his rage.

Kiku only turned away, staring with his blank, black eyes at the blank, white snow. The imprudent snake would have appeared unhindered by the mounting tension in this claustrophobic room if it weren't for the pink hue creeping up his neck to his cheeks and ears.

For a moment, Yao's defeated, mangled body came to Ivan's mind. Ivan's body moved on its own, ripping a section of rusted piping from the wall to his right. He roared profanities like a rabid bear and shook the pipe over his head in a frenzy. Kiku remained as still as a statue. Ivan charged forward, running out of words for Kiku's treachery but still screaming. Kiku didn't turn. Ivan bore down on the windowsill with the pipe, striking with the force he only used to shatter enemy skulls. Kiku was not there.

Kiku had bolted out the door by the time Ivan regained his bearings. Ivan pursued him to the stairs but couldn't leap down as gracefully as Kiku could. He descended one step at a time, recovering his strength for when he would eventually corner and squash the bug.

Yao had taught the bug well, but it didn't have righteous wrath on its side.

To Ivan's delight, Kiku had scrambled off into Yao's hallway. The only way in or out was blocked by Ivan, leisurely encroaching with a metal pipe. He wasn't above taking out one of his doors either, if Kiku decided to barricade himself in a room.

He rounded the corner just in time to watch his own little sister usher Kiku into Yao's room. She caught Ivan's eye as she was about to close the door and slipped out before it swung shut.

Without realising it, Ivan stopped dead in his tracks. He was caught dumbfounded by Natalya for a long moment.

Then, he took a tentative step forward. Natalya stared at him. He took another step. Natalya stood her ground.

"Why are you defending him?"

His little sister didn't answer, but his older sister did. "Just let Yao handle this one, okay?" Yekaterina's gentle, concerned voice jarred Ivan again.

He began to feel quite sick to his stomach.


	3. Tales of Two Siblings

Yekaterina was proceeded by a few brave members of Yao's family. The twins, Hyung-Soo and Yong-Soo, trailed behind, having witnessed Ivan's strength once before. They understood Ivan's rage all too well; Yong and Hyung would have jumped in to assault the backstabber themselves if Yao hadn't taught them restraint so well.

But Ivan, in all of his lonely years, had never been taught such things. He only realised afterward, as he did now, that what he had done was wrong. His vision began blurring at the edges, drawing him away from the world around him. Vaguely conscious of his actions, Ivan stuffed the pipe he'd been clutching into his pocket. What pipe? What Kiku?

"Ah, sister… when did you arrive?"

"Dawn." She outstretched her arms tentatively, offering an embrace to perhaps quell the dizzying flutters of Ivan's heart.

Ivan slunk forward into his sister's open arms. Yao's family stared, unsettled at the sudden shift in Ivan's mood, but they understood.

 _-segue-_

Yao picked fervently at the IV needle under his skin. A massive bruise had developed in the crook of his arm, but something within him went mad and wouldn't let him stop. At first, just nudging the point of the needle around was enough to itch the crawling, writhing presence in his arm, but soon he had begun writhing himself, clenching his fists and drawing his body into a shuddering ball.

He knew not why his body had be so uncooperative; his mind worked just fine, pondering what he would say to Kiku when they had both collected themselves. He'd have to address the family, too… They hadn't seen much of Kiku in the past century, but Yao could tell that some of them thought Kiku's only fault was being too harsh in his righteous retribution. When Kiku fled for his own country, he left a frayed piece in the family Yao had woven together over the course of millennia. The immortal fabric of family, Yao's pride and joy, fell to pieces soon after.

Kiku hadn't intended to hurt the family with his leave; he had to attend to his nation in light of the actions of the encroaching west in China. He would still come spend the Lunar New Year with his family every few years, but the spaces between visits grew until eventually Kiku's place at the table was filled by one of Yao's cats or some mortal friend they'd made. The family carried on without Kiku, huddled together in Yao's home and ignoring the world as Yao had taught them to do in troubling times. Soon, though, attendance at the New Year's dinner became sparse. One by one, they realised that they could no longer be so blind to the world. They had duties to their struggling countries.

So strand by strand, the family unraveled. It was the nature of the world that such things could not last. Perhaps Yao needed a reminder of this, as his last falling out was with dear Romulus, before he had ever dreamt of a family.

 _Crash._ The grating, splintering feel of wood being struck shot up through Yao's spine. He dug his fingernails into the flesh where his IV needle should have been and clenched each muscle in his body until the sensation passed. When it did, Yao let himself go. In his quiet frenzy he'd managed to dig the needle out from his body.

As soon as he lifted his head to check what happened, he was caught by Natalya's cryptic stare. It reminded him of Kiku. Instead of asking how long she'd hovered there, Yao reached up to push her away.

Natalya caught his wrist firmly. This was not the time for whatever trip down memory lane Yao had scheduled in his muddled mind "My brother is beating up yours."

"Oh." Yao shoved whatever misgivings he had for Kiku aside and sat up. "Where?" He demanded despite an overwhelming urge to keel over.

"In the attic." Impatient now, she let go of Yao's arm. "Just… help me stop him." Before Yao finished bracing himself to stand, she had left and left the door open too.

Kiku barreled into Yao just as he'd finally hobbled to the door. Yao fell back onto his tailbone. Hard.

Reeling from the blow and everything else, Yao crumpled to his side and stayed there silently. It was a habit he'd picked up in 'the facility', suffering silence, but he was also too winded to make a sound.

"Oh…" Heartbeat thudding against his temples, Kiku half knelt, half crumpled next to his elder brother. He couldn't turn back, but he wasn't ready to face Yao. Not yet. Not yet…

"I'm so sorry.." Kiku squeaked, then fumbled to- pick up Yao? Lay him on his back? Hold his hand? Oh, his head might explode from his pounding pulse..

Everything was black though Yao was sure he'd opened his eyes. Just as well, there was no mistaking Kiku's voice. He reached out for Kiku with the arm he had dug a needle out of moments before but forgotten about.

Kiku gasped. Egads, the wound was nasty. "Sorry!" He exclaimed though he knew that there was no way his arrival could rip a hole from Yao's arm. "I'll- Where does he keep the bandages?"

It took a moment for Yao to remember who 'he' was. "Under the bed, but I think I can heal up this one just fine."

"No you can't, the records show that this kind of thing takes at least two days and can get infected."

"The records?"

"Uh." The records were the transcripts from unit 731 where Yao had been kept for 'experimentation'.

"What?" By this point, Yao had recovered some bit of his vision. He met Kiku's eye and saw the same Kiku he'd known before the war, but with a face frozen in panic and bordering on tears. "Ah… It's okay, it's okay… It's fine… I won't be mad…". He patted his little brother's cheek with the hand from his good arm, propping himself up with the other so as to bring it out of sight. "I won't…" It took a while, but the subject of Kiku's discomposure dawned upon Yao. He felt something cold course throughout him as the realisation hit him, then shook the feeling. "It was for science… shh…"

Kiku felt the same cold surge as Yao, knowing that he too was thinking of the facility. That was when tears overwhelmed him. He looped both arms around Yao's waist and sobbed, forehead buried in Yaos chest, breath ugly and mucous dripping from the tip of his nose. Yao wept too, but his tears came in silence. He wrapped both arms around Kiku though one had an open wound and held on for dear life.


	4. Introduction

The sun had climbed to the top of the sky and beaten the snow into slush by the time Kiku and Yao pulled themselves together enough to head down for breakfast. They descended the stairwell arm-in-arm, more to demonstrate to the others that they had come to terms than to steady Yao's derelict frame.

For a man that gaunt and haunted, Yao held himself up rather proudly. He hobbled into the den with determination fiercely set in his face like _it_ had been engraved on him these past years instead of the jagged thing running along his spine. Kiku, in contrast, had taken an interest in becoming an invisible crutch.

The sluggish hubbub of breakfast-lunch ground to a halt. All eyes fell on Yao first, then Ivan. The mob that had finally settled down from last night was anxious yet again.

Yao stumbled as he caught his family's eyes. Kiku managed to catch him by the waist before he crumpled to the floor, but the jolt of it was enough to take what little moxie Yao had mustered up.

He retched, then felt disgusted with himself and swallowed his own bile to keep it from coming out of his mouth. Its chalky, sour taste lingered, but he would not lose his dignity. Some obscure bit of his mind still reminded him that his family was waiting.

"Ngh-" When he tried to speak only a squeaky grunt came out. He swallowed again and tried again. "Help." His legs would not work anymore; he had to put all of his weight on poor cringing Kiku.

Mei and Li, done with their meals and being the closest, got to Yao first. Then Tau, then Yong and Hyung, then Lien. Last came those 'cousins' that did not care to take shelter in Yao's palace back when he'd been adequate at bringing up all of these immortal children.

Ivan stood by vacantly and tried to ignore the tumult. He could not. "Hey." He could not be heard over it either. "Everyone, he hasn't eaten in years." IV fluids could not have bolstered Yao's health enough to handle being passed around like this, even if his body was healing like an immortal. Agh, but Ivan didn't want to raise his voice…

One of the 'cousins' looked over, though, just to check if Ivan was about to charge Kiku again, and caught Ivan's eye. It was the bald one. Out of Yao's family, he was one of the few that Ivan could pick out of a crowd. Ivan wondered how Yao kept track of each member of his massive following. Perhaps he couldn't, either.

Ivan wished he would have have trouble keeping up with the sheer size of his own family.

When Ivan's eye finally drifted back to Yao, he'd been ushered onto Katyusha's favorite sofa and made to recline. The bald cousin was shuffling back into the room, cradling a steaming cup of tea that threatened to slosh onto Ivan's floor with each step the cousin took. The clamour had grown louder.

Ugh. Ivan watched them with admiration anyways.

-End of Prologue-

Years later, with the dust from the last war settled, Ivan would witness the same scene in his foyer as he sank back in the same dingy blue-green armchair. Though, against all odds, Ivan's own immense 'family' was fussing over Yao. Yao had only been feeling fatigued this time, but that didn't stop Katyusha from insisting that he was dying when he tripped and fell on the new bearskin rug.

So Ivan watched Yao choke on unwanted tea again. As he watched, the scene from years ago tugged at Ivan's memory. Anger flared throughout his body for a second, forcing him to clench his jaw and cringe. Where were those bastards now? Hyung and Yong's cases were understandable, but what of everyone else?

Almost as a warning to its seething owner, Ivan's heart skipped a beat. He stumbled on his thoughts and fell back into reality.

Ivan rose from his chair to clear his head. From his new vantage point, he could see that Yao, curled up into a ball and shielding himself with a pillow, was quickly growing tired of the limelight. He brushed past Katyusha and planted himself firmly on the sofa with Yao.

"Everyone, please," he chided, "he's not dying."

Little chuckles rumbled across the room at that. Of course he wasn't dying; even out of all the immortals present he was the least likely to croak.

'Hm'. Yao let out an airy grunt and shifted on the sofa to wrap his body around Ivan's. He was too tired to say anything of substance.

Ivan reclined with a sigh, allowing an idle smile to drift across his face.

Next to them, Katyusha still felt Ivan's hand on her shoulder. She shivered in fear, wondering what force Ivan would have used if she weren't already moving out of the way when he passed.

Still, she hadn't seen her little brother so chipper in months.

Ivan hadn't made fun of his Baltic underlings since Yao arrived this morning. Nor did he scratch savagely under his scarf. Nor did he touch his vodka.

Natalie's eyes were beginning to bore holes into the side of Ivan's skull. She stared unabashedly, trying to figure out what was so different about her brother today.

It was Yao, of course, but Natalya couldn't comprehend what his mere presence was doing to placate her brother so.

Ivan felt her gaze and chose to ignore it. Yao did the same.


	5. Blossom

"We should be in bed," Yao murmured, his face squashed against the couch cushion and Ivan's leg.

Ivan said something incoherent in agreement.

Neither made an attempt to move.

They remained slumped there, sinking into the couch and each other until Yao had to adjust his head. As little as he needed air it still wracked his entire body with panic to be unable to breathe.

"Hmm…" Yao groaned sleepily, arching his back. He braced himself on Ivan's thigh to stand.

Like the crack of a whip, dizziness wracked Yao's head and he collapsed face-first into Ivan.

Ivan yelped, but caught him. He became very aware of Yao then. As Yao caught his breath, Ivan could only hear Yao's soft, annoyed sighs. He could only feel Yao's body brushing against his as Yao got up again.

A pleasant tingling sensation crept across Ivan's body. He stood too, pretending to fumble a bit with the couch cushions to adjust his pants.

Yao didn't notice and headed upstairs.

He conveniently didn't notice the demolished section of the stair banisters, either.

Ivan followed Yao up, keeping a respectful distance.

"Oh, where am I sleeping tonight?" Yao asked. As he climbed, he let his fingers trail ever so lightly over the stairs' grooved handrails. Somehow, Ivan imagined that Yao was touching him instead.

'My bed, hopefully,' part of Ivan wanted to say. Then he realized that he didn't know where Ravis had taken Yao's things.

"Uh…"

"Hm?" Yao was waiting for him at the top of the stairs.

Ivan made an apologetic face. "I'm not sure."

"Oh." Yao glanced down the hall vacantly, as if searching for his room himself. "Aw, I don't want to disturb them while they're sleeping…"

Ivan remembered something. "Oh, North left a package in my room I was supposed to give you. I think it had some pajamas too, if you want to."

"Want to what?" Yao asked innocently.

Ivan wasn't sure how to finish his sentence. "Uh…" He make a few nonsensical gestures with his arms before he could come up with words. "Come to my room?" Yao was teasing him; he could tell.

The tiny beginnings of a smirk tugged at the corners of Yao's mouth. "Sure."

Ivan led Yao to his room in silence. By only the light seeping in from the hallway, Ivan managed to find his bedside lamp. He turned it on, then shuffled back to close the door. Yao was already getting comfortable on his bed.

"Didn't you want pajamas?" Ivan asked, trying to sound coy now.

Yao burrowed under the blankets. "Too lazy."

"Are you sure? North will be sad if I tell him you didn't like his gift."

"It's too cold to strip," Yao giggled. "I'll just stay right here."

"What's so funny?" Amused but suspicious, Ivan approached bed. "Hello?" He pretended to knock on the walls of the little blanket teepee Yao had made. When the only response he got was Yao pretending to snore, Ivan ignored him. "I'm going to change now."

Ivan had his pajama shirt halfway on when he felt cold fingers on his sides. "Ahh!" Ivan half yelled, half laughed, stumbling backward. "That tickles!" He yelped as Yao tickled him again. He tried to put his shirt down, but Yao had his hands under them. "Stop! Ahh!" Out of reflex, he kneed Yao off of him.

Yao stumbled back, barely managing to catch himself on the nightstand. Ivan panicked.

"I'm so sor-" He was tickled again. "Ahah- Are you ok-?!" He sputtered, though in his head he secretly sighed in relief.

It took quite a bit of willpower to fight the urge to laugh. "Okay, okay." Ivan seized Yao's wrists and pushed him back into bed. "No tickling." He declared seriously. His body betrayed him with a big, exhilarated grin.

Yao beamed defiantly, panting like he'd just ran a marathon."…so cute." He laughed as Ivan's eyes widened in confusion. "You're just so cute!" Yao squealed, unable to contain himself. "I just want to kiss you-" Yao got his wish.

Ivan, overwrought with tonight's excitement, finally snapped. He set upon Yao with fervid passion, holding his arms hostage against the bed. Yao let out a subdued whine, and Ivan shuddered violently, lust consuming him. To Ivan, nobody else existed then. Only Yao's jasmine scent, his silken hair, his yielding lips, his feverish cheeks, his trembling body, his girl-like, pleading whimpers… Ivan pressed his body against Yao's and felt that Yao had become quite excited, too. He shuddered again.

Ivan moved to Yao's neck.. "Am I still cute?" He whispered, letting his lips just barely brush against Yao's skin. His grip tightened on Yao's wrists.

Another helpless whimper; the kind that made Ivan's heart flutter. Then, an ugly, wet sniffle.

"What…" Ivan drew back, then froze, bewildered. Yao had been crying all this time. "What's wrong?"

Yao couldn't give an answer. His eyes were squeezed shut, his jaw clenched, but he had offered no resistance to Ivan's advances. Even as Ivan released his arms Yao didn't move them.

"Yao, you can move now." Ivan hovered over Yao, racing to figure out what he did wrong. "Yao?" God, he regretted taking that leap now… "I won't grab you like that ever again, I promise"

"No," Yao shook his head, still visibly shaken. "Sorry. It wasn't… I just got scared for a second. Sorry." He sniffled again and wiped away his tears. "Sorry." He slowly drew himself up to sit. Ivan could only stare.

After an agonizingly long pause, Yao composed himself and spoke again. "I didn't tell you because you'd get even more mad at Kiku, but-" He stifled a hiccup, then sighed, closing his eyes. "Before they were experimenting on me, I stayed with Kiku in his quarters there."

Ivan still stared, confused.

"And when I refused to cooperate, he'd threaten to send me to live with the prisoners."

"Cooperate?"

Yao looked up and locked eyes with Ivan. "He raped me." He stated bluntly, looking somewhat annoyed. "He kept raping me. I almost thought you were going to rape me, too"

"But I wasn't," Ivan retorted, the first part of Yao's statement not quite registering in his head.

"I know." Yao spat, now leering up at Ivan with barely subdued fury..

"Wait." It finally clicked. "He…." Ivan's eyes darted wildly around the room. He clenched and unclenched his fists, seething. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you'd get this mad," Yao chided, suddenly putting aside his own anger. "He didn't know he couldn't get me back out once he left me in there, please, he didn't know."

"That doesn't change anything!"

"Ivan…" Yao sighed, exasperated, and led Ivan into bed by his scarf. "It's a bit late for this. You need rest."

"He rapes you and you still stick up for him… " Still shaking in anger, Ivan uttered complaints under his breath. "I shoulda… Hmph." He climbed into bed anyways, knowing to control himself around Yao.

Yao leapt up gracefully as Ivan laid down. He wiped the remains of mucous and tears from his face with his sleeve, then, back turned, pulled off his shirt. The ribbons that held his hair in a ponytail came off with it, letting his gorgeous coal-black hair glissade back down to its natural place.

Ivan watched Yao in silence, clutching to blankets that were still warm from Yao's body. The lamp cast sharp shadows across Yao's back, outlining the muscles Yao had not quite regained and the wounds that had not quite healed. Then, Yao slipped on a silk shirt. The image of Yao's scars continued playing in Ivan's head.

They had converged into a single scar that crept, craggy and sunken in, from Yao's right shoulder to the small of his back. The rest of his skin had returned to porcelain, but that only served to draw attention to the one imperfection present.

"Yao… why haven't you healed?"

"Why were you staring?" Yao retorted, a little too quickly.

"Sorry!" Ivan ducked under the covers.

Yao thought about telling Ivan it was okay, but didn't feel like it. He finished changing in peace.

He glanced at the door, then the lump on the bed. He thought about wandering the halls and climbing into a cold bed on his own, then about how Ivan was keeping this one warm already. Ivan certainly wouldn't mind…

Yao crawled into bed with Ivan.

.Ivan flinched as Yao lifted the covers. He shifted to make room, but Yao snuggled so close he might as well have been on top of him.

"Good night…" Yao murmured, already falling asleep.

"Oh." Ivan breathed, now very awake. "I just… Hold on, I have to close the light."

He propped himself up, trying not to jostle Yao too much. As he reached over he felt Yao nuzzle into his chest. Ivan felt himself growing weak. He quickly pulled the power cord and flopped back down, shivering.

Yao was unaffected, only adjusting his neck before continuing to nod off.

"Good night." Ivan squeaked, gingerly resting his arm on Yao's waist.

Yao responded with a teeny yawn. "Ah… Night."

Ivan worked to control his breathing, trying to calm himself down. Yao was actually- not a dream but Yao himself- in his arms tonight. He wasn't sure how he could fall asleep now.

He listened to Yao's tiny, measured breaths for a long time. All the while, his mind ran through the events of the past hour, over and over again. He briefly bristled at the thought of Kiku, then calmed himself down. Yao's presence comforted him, it seemed.

"I love you," Ivan whispered. "I love you," He declared, feeling a giddy grin turn up the corners of his mouth. He drew Yao closer.

Yao had fallen asleep.


End file.
